I prefer to wait to write my blog until I have something “good” to share with you. It feels like I’ve been waiting some time for that so I decided tell you about my life as it is, the good and the less than good.
It came and went without fanfare. I might have missed it entirely but a friend pointed it out to me; the one year anniversary of my surgery and the beginning of the chronic pain I’ve lived with since.
It is easy for me to tell you all the negative experiences this time has held:
- Unrelenting pain
- Millions of MD visits, including countless specialists, in search of the cause
- A sadistic cycle of improvement followed by setbacks, complete with sadness and depression
Those are some of the less desirable gifts that come with this Anniversary. However, I would not be doing my experiences justice if I didn’t tell about some of the others as well… the ones I’m most grateful for, such as:
- Learning how to be kind and gentle to myself
- How to allow my feelings to come in and move through me
- Agreeing to accept the unacceptable
- Deciding to live my life each day and not be defined or limited by my pain
Through it all there is an inner peace reminding me that this is not a test, this is my life and I am right where I am meant to be.
Learning to roll with the punches and trust that some greater power is guiding your experience is part of life. That doesn’t mean we always have to like it!