It’s a fact that time moves slowly for people who are grieving. I lost my only sister the end of May and my summer has been a blur of sadness, overwhelm and grief.

I feel compelled to share what I have learned about grieving, which is often not  understood by either the person in grief or those around them. Nor is the process honored by our “hurry-up” society.

  • Grief is a process that takes what it takes. There is no magic formula that says, “Well, it has been three months, time to get over it.”
  • Grief is deepest for the people who live in our hearts and only time can heal that wound. The more we love, the more we grieve. How could it be any different? The gift of truly loving someone makes you vulnerable to their passing.
  • It is important to make peace with the fact that sometimes waves of sadness will appear from nowhere, and you must allow yourself time for your feelings. This is an important part of the healing process.
  • There will be moments of grace in memories remembering the life you shared together; find a way to honor this life.

I believe my sister’s soul lives on, out of pain, in another form that I glimpse when I am meditating. I am blessed to feel her presence and hear her speak to me.

When she does speak to me, she tries to make me laugh. It is amazing how often she succeeds.

If you are grieving, please be kind, patient and gentle with yourself. Reach out to others for help when you need it and remember your grief is a measure of how genuinely your heart was open to that person. It will shift its energy in time.

Until then, remember the Beatles had it right: “in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.”